May 14, 2010

On this special date heaven never fails me, people may but heaven never….

What an incredible day with sun, blue sky and green trees swinging in the wind. And it is so warm!    I just came back from the walk on my magic street and this photo was in the e-mail from Jan, Polish friend. It perfectly expresses the magic outside.


As a gift to myself I decided not to work today but to take time and share this page.

Each year the first seven days sesshin at Dai Bosatsu Zendo is in early April and it is called Holy Days. This year it was scheduled a week earlier and Christian Holidays were during sesshin week instead the Buddhist ones. I was wondering why this change…

Writing this account a month later I am not as excited anymore about sesshin experience as immediately after. Just have memories of few things to share.

I very much waited to do a lot of zazen again. It has been four months since Rohatsu sesshin.            There was no snow this year at the top of mountain but Beecher Lake was still frozen.                       Holy Days traditionally is the smallest sesshin of the year. This is why I like it so much. It is very quiet and one feels a deep intimacy and togetherness among people. Also as the first sesshin of kessei residents and officers seem to make effort to be quiet and focused. This focus is often lost in subsequent sesshins.                                                                                                                      There were not so many very old friends and I felt strange surrounded by the people who came to DBZ many years later than myself. Seigan and Fujin are a guarantee in each sesshin so it is always so good to see them.

The weather was nasty the first half of sesshin, cold, rainy, foggy and this created a feeling of sadness inside. But suddenly of the forth day literally overnight summer came! This was a sudden and quite dramatic change, the ice on the lake malted rapidly and birds were singing like crazy. There were even two woodpeckers pounding which to me is a sing that Dharma will flourish here. I consider woodpecker protectors of Dharma at Dai Bosatsu Zendo. To have such a symphony accompanying Holy Days sesshin is very rare. Usually we do not hear it until May or June.

Upon arrival I did notice new ihai tablet and photo of a young boy monk on the Dharma Hall altar and it was a shock… What had happened? Obviously he died, but how and why?

Roshi was talking about it during his last teisho. Also it became clear to me why the sesshin was moved earlier.                                                                                                                                Three days after sesshin Roshi was going to leave for Japan. He was invited by Essan, a Zen Priest who owns very old temple to lead a commemorating ceremony at 1200 anniversary of dedication. Twelve hundred years! This is a very old temple and these celebrations were planned for several years. Roshi finally agreed to go last year but entire schedule of sesshin had to be redone.

I met Essan at thirtieth Anniversary Sesshin of Dai Bosatsu Zendo few years ago when he came with his wife and two sons, very young boys but already ordained Zen monks. The photo of one of them was now on the altar.                                                                                                                      Almost exactly a month before this very important celebration younger son was instantly killed while driving bicycle hit by truck. This is very hard to comprehend. Why and why at this time? Imagine the grief of parents who were trying to find the meaning of this tragedy.                                               Roshi himself was not sure what and how he can express his condolences. Truly now words are appropriate enough…

Not long ago I heard the discussion of scientists and philosophers who concluded that there is truly no point in the existence of universe. I happen to agree with this completely. Among all sentient existence human being’s predicament is that they struggle to find a meaning of this pointless and meaningless reality. It is very difficult to live otherwise…                                                                 With all the busy-iness, distractions and pursuit of material things in contemporary society not everyone have a need to look for meaning.                                                                                      When in life a crisis of this magnitude happens it is an opportunity to wake up and reflect on what is truly important in life. The old saying from dark ages becomes alive: Memento mori.