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Ekyo's Blog Sharing form the heart
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Like a Dream, Like a Fantasy |
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May 12, 2008 Memorial Sesshin for Nyogen Senzaki was like this… It was a Dream, it was a Fantasy.
Morning dew just before sun rises over Dai Bosatsu Mountain Sunday morning afer sesshin. In his final talk of sesshin Roshi could not find any words to sum up this magic week. Like a dream, like a fantasy was the most appropriate indeed. The zendo was completely filled and half of it with very senior practitioners. These days it happens rarely that I am surrounded by any people whom I remember from my very first sesshins at Dai Bosatsu Zendo, seventeen years ago. This time there were five women next to and in front of me. I felt at home at last. We all got older and do not move fast but the spirit of great heart was manifested. I truly felt the spirit of Nyogen Senzaki, as if he was sitting next to me…. I cannot be more grateful for this dharma arrangement. It may take a time to complete this page. Sesshin was wonderful but reality of life and what happened last week may not be so… It is overwhelming to see the images of China’s earthquake, Burma’s devastations after cyclone where regime does not allow international humanitarian help for thousands very poor people, and military mess in Lebanon. A bit too much what had happened during our “magic” week on the top of mountain. Too much pain, too much suffering, too much violence. KANZEON!
June 24, 2008 I am repairing Eido Roshi’s ancient kesa stitching it by hand. Doing this project a few years ago I see that kesa got some beating and few places completely disappeared… The silk is so old that it deteriorates with a touch of a needle. This is my training of patience… The energy of the kesa inspired me to finish page about Nyogen Senzaki. Of course I forgot what I wanted to write few weeks ago, but there is something new to share. During sesshin Roshi shared with us a story about young women who came to Dai Bosatsu Zendo a month earlier for couple days. She did not plan to stay longer but things happened, one after another preventing her from leaving, and suddenly she was participating in Memorial sesshin for Nyogen Senzaki. Then she discovered that her name Talia in Hebrew means the same as Nyogen’s Senzaki second name; Hut of Morning Dew. Thus it meant to be for her to participate in sesshin she did not planned to. Roshi loves the word uncanny. This time he concluded that Talia’s story was so uncanny that it became canny uncanny… Ha! Ha! Ha! From the perspective of few weeks it looks that my life after sesshin could be summed up as being uncanny canny… I was very touched by the koan concerning spirit of Nyogen Senzaki which Roshi created for me, after I have done previous one. It was sort of related to the point. As soon as I came back home life created for me an exact opportunity to put it into everyday life… WOW!!!! This of course does not happen for the first to me. And at this point I do not try to comprehend it… It is impossible to comprehend… Some years ago I had a discussion with a friend about Zen teachers in this culture. He wrote to me that in Japan true teachers were to be found under the bridges. Here we do not find them in Zen Centers but in small apartments, in hospice places. Nobody can notice them…
Thinking about Nyogen Senzaki I thought exactly this. He has done ordinary jobs and did not pose as Zen Teacher. However his influence in preparing ground for Zen Buddhism in this country is very significant, and now finally appreciated. His work was very deep, done quietly without need for power or recognition. Nyogen Senzaki was a man with big heart. How do we cultivate heart? “The best exercise for human heart is to bent down and put somebody up,” someone said. It seems like natural human reaction, yet very few can do it. Very few can even notice that someone needs help… Nyogen Senzaki not only took care of Jimmy Tanahashi, but also helped ordinary people through his entire life. Among the students of social work studies there is a saying: “Those who cannot do it teach it.” Many study this field with the idea of helping others, but discover later that doing the work is actually very difficult. They are not able to do it. So, there is another option -- teach it… It is so much easier to talk about it, teach it, to have ideas about helping. A simple human act to bent down and lift someone up for many is impossible to accomplish. Giving talks is easy… Nyogen Senzaki was a very rare being, one who could do it, one who could teach it, and one living under the bridge… What an inspiration! Hands palm to palm…
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